Happy Birthday, I Quit….Maybe Not

In the past month I have thrown a party for my Mom’s 50th…
My Daughter’s 5th…
And U.S.A’s 236th..

I like birthdays…I like parties…really I like creating and socializing and parties are a good excuse.

A Gentle Word turns one tomorrow and I have hem-hawed around how to celebrate…as usual I started on one extreme…shut her down print a book of the year and call it quits..

What kind of celebration is that? One of my favorites…The Closure Happy Tap. It is a dance I seldom get to enjoy in my line of work…mothering, farming, ranching…they all go on until the end..and the end is not something for which I long. Of course there is the Happy Dance upon completion of the task at hand and if I keep my thoughts focused in the present is a wonderful feeling of accomplishment. (Will some one please remind me to not immediately begin a critique on how to do it better next time and just rest in the moment?)

What were my reasons to call it quits with blogging?

No one reads this random blog..which isn’t true but I do not know who reads it.
I do not have anything to share to make a positive impact in the world…Not exactly true…Well, if I did keep writing I would want to make a more positive impact

I gave up on Quitting but then I jumped to the other extreme…I MUST BE SUCCESFFUL! I need larger stats, better posts, advertisers to make lots of money…then I immediately curled up in a ball and said I am not worthy of such success…(never mind that I have had no success..even imagined “success” intimidated me..and the the thought of failing made me cringe…..ugh)

Some where between daydreaming about blogging anonymously on a new blog and never blogging again I realized all the ideas to post were still floating in my head as I went about my day…Yes, I would still continue to blog…but where? How?

I made plans to review my past posts and make a Birthday series of posts until I knew what I wanted to do…and then as I started to type I saw this sentence form
“I like creating and socializing and parties are a good excuse.”

As soon as I typed it I KNEW that I would continue to blog…I like creating….I like socializing–connecting with people in all situations…I have always had the feeling that I would have loved to live in an apartment…talking to my neighbors, helping them carry in groceries, having impromptu gatherings through out the days of our lives…ok I know I am being romantic but my nearest neighbor is named Butch, and my next nearest neighbor is named Butch…they are older than my dad and are not married…they are “live off the fruits of the land” type of men and do not need my help with anything…it is my community but it does not meet my desires…

Let me revisit my epiphany,

“I like creating…” Check.  I can create with photography and written word….would some one please create a pretty place for me to do this?  I am going to have to spruce up this blog design since I decided to stay.

“..and socializing..”  I know a few of my friends and family take a look at my blog..mostly random strangers sent this direction by the Great Google….that is not much socializing.  Yesterday, I actually enjoyed a random blog hop and realized that all those neat blogging ladies I happen upon are real ladies who I can interact with via email and comments and Facebook and even conferences…REAL PEOPLE!  My inner circle is mostly hours and hours and half a continent away so why should I be surprised to make relationships with people I have never hugged?

“…and parties are a good excuse.”  Well, I like parties..but they do take work.  The more parties I have had the more I realized what truly makes a party memorable and enjoyable and what is extra work. It will take effort but as with anything  this blog interaction thing will become easier. I know what parties those blog ladies have..things called blog hops, and link-ups and well I do not really know because I have avoided the “real bloggers.”   With this excuse..”I am just messing around with secret hopes of making an impact…creating a connection…blatantly bragging about all the cool scenes I happen upon in this wonderful life of mine”..so I guess I am going to have to attend a few parties and start meeting ladies in the blogosphere.

So ends my post…I made it one year.  I enjoy blogging. The Stats indicator is not my measure of success.  I am going to join the party..and I realize that I have not yet joined because I do not feel properly dressed. Time for a Birthday Party. What should I wear? Time for a birthday present…New blog design!

I feel an old excuse rearing it’s ugly head..this is my blog and while it isn’t pretty it is all mine.  I’ll fix her up when I figure out how…or the fairy web designers wave their magic wand…which ever comes first…

……

 

 

Comments

  1. Hi Amber,

    I’m visiting your website from the comment you left on Blogging with Amy. :-)

    I know you are searching for a designer, so I thought I’d share my blog design site with you. No pressure. :-) Just wanted to share.

    http://purelysensibledesign.com/

    Thanks!
    Sandra

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